After a mostly wonderful day and a day without a naps. I invited Lila for milk rather then waiting for Eli to fall asleep. Eli climbed up so I nursed them both. For a moment I was in the moment, holding and nursing my babies. The extensions of myself, my family, my loves. And all at the same time their own beings and soul. I let everything go, all thoughts all worries all anythings. I was just there we were all just there. In the moment. Suspended in time. Then the thoughts came back I thought I felt so happy something must be wrong. I had to tell myself it was okay. I am learning to give myself permission to feel emotions, that they are real and normal. Then you learn to feel them and be okay with feeling.
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